Take Off

Well, there's no doubt about it. Holidaying with a three-month-old baby is NOT the best idea you could come up with.


To put it mildly, Lauren has been having a little trouble adjusting to the continually changing surroundings. She's been great during the days- taking in the new sights, playing with her toys and generally having a grand old time. Come night time, though...

Lordy f-ing LOO.

She seems to have made it her goal to allow us as little sleep as is humanly possible. She'll flatly refuse to go to sleep for hours on end, and then when she finally breaks, she'll last maybe half an hour before wriggling around and screaming.

Being that we've been staying in hotels so far, we haven't even had the luxury of being able to leave her to cry for a while to get it out of her system.

Somehow, I doubt our fellow hotel guests would appreciate our attempts at tough love. And I KNOW that hotels don't tend to have the thickest walls in the world.



Anyway, since arriving in Perth, we spent a few nights staying at The Vines Resort. For those of you who have never visited our fair city, The Vines Resort is a sprawling, picturesque golf course resort built on the outskirts of the Perth metropolitan area. Waking up to the combination of the manicured championship golf course and gorgeous bushland (along with the numerous resident kangaroos) is a nice alternative to staying in the city centre.

Not to mention the fact that we get some seriously good discounts, thanks to our membership to a hotel VIP scheme...


But our time at The Vines has drawn to an end, and yesterday we jetted across the continent to Melbourne.

Yesterday was the first time that I had chanced a flight with one of these "low-cost" airlines.

Ugh.

Seriously, you could rip the wings off these f-ing things, slap on a few wheels and put the bastard into service on an Indian railway. The way that they cram people onto these flights is downright scary.

I mean, do these f-ing clown FORGET that human beings also have legs? And if not, then where, pray tell, do they propose we f-ing PUT them?


I realise that, for most of the population, the lack of legroom is little more than an inconvenience. However, when you're WELL north of the six-foot mark, being able to sit in a place for a few hours WITHOUT being forced to tuck your f-ing legs behind your ears is a welcome luxury.

Yeah, I know- you get what you pay for. Lord knows that NEXT time, I'll be paying for a human-sized seat.

Or a chiropractor. Either or.