Communications Breakdowns

Didja miss me?

I really should have known better. Things like this NEVER go smoothly for me.

One of the more frustrating aspects of moving house is being subjected to the ordeal of transferring telephone and internet services across. Dealing with telecommunications companies is not MY idea of fun.

This time, though, I was actually shocked by how quick and simple the process was. The phone was disconnected in the old house early last Monday morning, and by mid-morning it was connected in the new place. The ADSL connection (which we were told could take up to a week to connect) was up and running an hour or so later.

When it comes to telcos, that sort of efficiency would have to pretty much qualify as a f-ing MIRACLE.

But, ALAS, it was too good to be true. After having internet access for a day or two, the connection went dead. After trying everything I could think of (including hooking up a completely different router), I admitted defeat and called the ridiculously-misnamed "customer service department".

Three calls later (each of which entailed no less than thirty minutes on hold listening to some douchebag prattle on about whatever crap the phone company were trying to flog) and it was discovered that there was a problem with the line that would require the attention of their technicians. But never fear, they assured me- we still had a complimentary dial-up account at our disposal.

Ugh. Thanks a f-ing LOT, arseholes...

Compounding our discomfort was the fact that we still hadn't been able to get the local Foxtel bloke around to install our satellite dish. So not only did we not have an internet connection, but we also were restricted to (shock HORROR) free-to-air television.

I guess this means we'd actually have to engage in CONVERSATION. *Shivers*

Heh.

So we soldiered forth in these oppresive, third-world conditions until Sunday, when the awesome Foxtel bloke came by to install his little dish-o'-wonder.

INCLUDING a brand spanking new Foxtel IQ2 box. Damn right.

I'm not one for pointless hyperbole (*cough*), but Foxtel IQ is possibly the single greatest invention on the history of mankind.

Yeah, I know- some people might argue in favour of the wheel, or simple levers. Or perhaps electricity or the internal combustion engine. But can any of THOSE things digitally record two programs while you watch a third, while remembering to record every OTHER episode in the series at the touch of a single button?

I don't f-ing THINK so. I rest my case.

Anyway, Foxtel was sorted, and after the phone company pulled their collective fingers out of yonder arses, my internet connection was back up to speed, and all was well with the world. Unfortunately, though, the technical snafus made updating this blog rather difficult.

But if my posting irregularity is in any way annoying to you, then you'd better f-ing brace yourself.

Come Thursday, the whole BULLHORN clan shall be loading up the trusty Subaru and making the trek southwards to civilisation. Our housesitter is organised, our hotels are booked, and we can't wait to get our arses OUT of this f-ing town for a few weeks. I'll be taking my laptop with me, but any posting will dependent on time, inclination, and 'net access.

But I WILL be back tomorrow.

Probably...